1-8-12

Monday: Today was really cool. Elder Brady and I were the only ones
home, still, and we slept in. It was awesome. I studied fo ra while,
before he got up and we went to use Internet. Just for a bit, so we
could return in the afternoon `cause that`s usually when Daddy writes
me. I ended up chatting with Devin for a little bit. He told me about
his favorite games and books. We got completos with the other Elders,
when they got back, with mint ice cream for dessert. I`d missed it.
Nobody had written me, of the family. Elder Maldonado felt sick. He
asked if I`d go to the Apartment with him. I read for a while, until
sundown. But my lightbulb blew and I couldn`t read more. Smith and
Brady said they hand`t found anyone in their contacts. And so ends the
first transfer here.

Tuesday: So we got gas this morning. That means no more cold showers!
But my shower was actually too hot, and the controls were broken-ish,
so I couldn`t cool it down. I acutally missed my cold shower. Today is
the first day of the new transfer. I studied some more of Helaman 4.
Something I`ve always found strange is how often the Nephites and
Lamanites fight. It seems so pointless. In this part, the Lamanites
have conquered much of the land. But Moroniah (spelling in english?),
the Nephite general, "reconquers" some cities. I turned it into a
battle of good vs. evil, like we have in our lives and saw that we
have to be brave when the "bad" conquers parts of our lives, and
reconquer those parts. ALWAYS resist temptation. We had our lunch that
was really far, today. When we got home, I called Mirta, from
Hualpencillo. She wasn`t doing so well. Ever since we met her, her
father has been an instrument in the hands of the Adversary to hedge
up the way. Apparently, right before Christmas, he told MIrta she was
dead to him. She just barely turned 16! She got kicked out of her
house and is now living with her sister. But she said she had a happy
New Year`s. I felt so proud of her. She`s so optimistic. Always. I
shared a few Scriptures with her before telling her I loved her and
hung up. I`ll be praying for her. We did contacts and got into a few
houses, actually. In the evening, we played soccer with the youth.
Camilo, the recent convert, and Pablo, who got back from his
mini-mission, were there. Pablo said that Pres. Martinez adores me. He
said he talks well of all the missionaries, but he really likes me.
That helped me, especially because I`ve been feeling kinda like a
failure. Soccer was really fun. But now I`m super tired.

Wednesday:
Today went well. We got up and waited for our undependable bus. It
didn`t show up on time. We eventually made it to our Distrizona
Meeting. We all had to introduce ourselves to the two new Missionaries
in Tirùa. I think my comp. has changed for the better in the six weeks
we`ve already spent together. In our District Meeting, he was
definitely participating more than he used to. We did a practice
lesson. I said we could do it in Spanish or English, and he chose
Spanish. He struggled for a big, but he didn`t give up, and I was just
cheerin` him on as hard as I could. I taught them about "The Vision of
Baptizing", a talk by Elder Corbridge. I tried to help them understand
WHY we baptize, and the importance of the remission of sins. I hope we
can see results soon. It`s been getting harder and harder for me to
stay strong. I don`t feel depressed, just tired of fighting. I don`t
want to be a bad Missionary. I WANT to be strong and make the right
decisions every time, but sometimes I`m not that strong. It`s like I
know the answer, but not how to execute the plan itself. Anyway, Elder
Smith and I went on an exchange to do a service project for Hna.
Soledad Rodriguez. Then we finished up, doing contacts. As we headed
to the house, we pooled our money and bought a big bag of mashed
potatoes. 32 servings baby!

Thursday: So, I completed 20 months, today.I`m in the 20`s! I know
that sounds like a lot, but I`ve still got 4 left (Devin!)--plenty of
time to work. I studied alone, until I had to report our numbers to
the zone Leaders. After I did that, Elder Hall asked me how I was
doing. Usually, I tell him I`m alright, but today I came clean. I told
him I`m tired and my comp. is dragging me down. Elder hall has been
Elder Brady`s Zone Leader all of Elder Brady`s Mission, so he knows
him. He asked if Elder Brady had progressed at all. I told him he
hadn`t. When I told Elder Hall all this, he said that it shows. I`m
losing energy. Anyway, Elder Hall said he`d write Pres. about our
situation. Elder Diaz, from tirúa, doesn`t have a cell phone, and
didn`t know the Meeting in Concepción was cancelled. So we tried to
cut him off in our city, but he wasn`t on any of the buses. Elder
Smith went with me. He and I have gotten to be good friends. He just
has a really strong personality and likes to be right. He`s totally
gonna help me bargain-hunt when I get back. After lunch, my comp. and
I did contacts for a while. Then, we tried to visit an inactive member
that Elder Smith had told us had kids that aren`t baptized. They
weren`t home. At night, we found out our oven works. So we made
brownies. It was a weak oven, so it took 2 hours. Hahah. it`s 12:10 AM
right now. But they`re delicious, so it`s totally worth it.

Friday: I got up, this morning at 8:15 `cause I left our phone (alarm
clock) in the other room and didn`t hear it. I got up and did my
personal study. I`ve never asked for an emergency transfer, because
I`ve considered it cowardice and going against God`s will. But I am
really getting close. During lunch with the Branch Pres.`s wife, she
aske dhow much time I have left. When I told her, she said she wants
me to finish here because I`m so happy. She confessed that she`s a bit
of a serious person. As I began giving her some advice, she asked me
for counsel with one of her neighbors. She feels like she`s losing a
friendship. It was interesting how the Spirit guided the conversation
so she could receive her answer. In the afternoon, I had to use email
really quick, and chek the class I have to give next week. But when I
looked, I found an email, saying Daddy`s in the hospital with blood
clots in both lungs. BLOOD CLOTS!!! LUNGS!!! I can`t function without
my Daddy. I just can`t. Mom said the blood thinners should take him
back out of the woods. I`m just really scared. We had an FHE with the
Neira family and a few other families. They hadn`t warned us that we
had the lesson. We taught the Book of Mormon and then watched "The
Testaments." I told Madelyn about Daddy, and she offered to call mom
tomorrow. that`s so nice.

Saturday: I had a really cool personal study today. I`m starting to do
the activities in the Seminary manual for the Book of Mormon that I
found. today, I studied pride, and why it`s sometimes called the
"central sin," and all the other sins that can come from it.
Thankfully, Helman 3:35 shows us how we can get rid of pride. It comes
from giving our heart to God. That`s what Alan and I are trying to do.
he`s so awesome! Madelyn called me this morning. She had a very soft
tone of voice, as if she didn`t want me to get hurt. She said, "I
talked with your mom, and she said that you need to remain calm when
you hear this--" I stopped listening right there. I started thinking,
"I don`t have a Dad anymore. What`s the family gonna do? That am I
gonna do?" And my heart was racing. But Madelyn rephrased it and said,
"You mom says to remain calm, because your dad`s out of the hospital
and recovering." I told her she scared the living CRAP out of me.
GAH!!! But I`m very relieved that Daddy`s alright. Whew! the place
where we use Internet has a girl, our age, who works there. she took
this week off because her dad died. I`m going to give her chocolate
and the Plan of SAlvation when she comes back. The 4 of us and her
chat when we go over. I think this is God, preparing her. I hoep she
can feel better. I can`t imagine how she must be feeling. I got a
glimpse, and it almost drove me crazy. We did contacts in the evening.
We got in a few houses today. There was on lady, Graciela, who was
really nice and receptive. I asked if Elder Smith would sell me one of
his Portable hard drives. He`s thinking about it.

Sunday: today was a great day. Well, mostly. Now that we finally have
gas, again, for warm showers, our water heater broke. It`s okay. I
only got one hot shower and I fount I didn`t like it as much. I guess
I`ve just gotten used to these showers. We were almost late to church
again, even though we`re two minutes away. Let`s see, nothing exciting
happened in church. After that, we had lunch with the Neira family. We
had barbeque meat again: beef and turkey, with an awesome salsa. While
I was at church, I fount out that Ayleen, a member of the family,
wasn`t feeling well..but I don`t know if it was emotionally or
physically. So I shared a Scripture from Mosiah 4 that says we aren`t
commanded to run faster than we are able, and that we should just be
diligent in what we can do. I f we do that, we`ll receive all the
blessings we need. It`s so amazing that he put all of the commandments
within the limits of everyone. Oh! And I was thinking about Moroni`s
primise. He invites us to ask if "these things are NOT true." Why not
ask if they ARE true? I think it`s because the latter is too easily
dismissed by most people. Can someone who doesn`t believe the church
is true prove that it ISN`T true? I think I just condemned myself to
dual-questioning everything for life. We finished our contacts today.
wE met our goal for the first time, and we got some new investigators.
YEAH! At night, we watched Elder maldonado`s copy of "The Errand of
Angles." In my opinion, it captures the real feeling of a Mission
better than "The Best Two Years." The whole movie, whe`s having a LOT
of hard times, and only a few happy times. But at the end, all she
remembers are the good moments. It was way cool.